Saturday, July 5, 2014

The New Las Vegas Security



   This is one of the security personnel in the casinos and restaurants and performance venues - which is virtually every square inch of the New Las Vegas. The headgear is fetching, no? It is designed to be both attractive decoration and also a reminder that she can kill you and send you to St. Peter for final analysis before you even know you are in eternity. But that is not her primary function. Her primary function is to be always close enough to you so that you can see her tits…and even touch them if you like! Yes, that's right, she is not at all prudish. She will even spray rubbing alcohol on your hands before you do. The charge for this service?….showing her your dick and jacking off for - but not on - her. Hey, I told you the New Las Vegas really kicked ass. But you actually have to cum if you agree to this bargain. And within a reasonable amount of time too. Five minutes, tops. And if you don't? Well a deal's a deal and you broke your end. There's  a hundred dollar fine. You say you don't want to pay? Oh, I did hear you wrong? Yes that's what I thought.

Superheroes In The New Las Vegas





 In the New Las Vegas superheroes such as Batman and the inexplicable existence of Catwoman will be presented in a more honest manner than before. Their genitals will be showing rather than inferred from bulging halter-top skintight uniforms and bulging codpiece gonad coverings. Plus, instead of performing superfeats of heroism they will be copulating. In dynamically presented scenic settings as depicted above. And Hopefully Batman's penis will be more erect.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Coque du Soleil


   The Coque du Soleil in the New Las Vegas will be the upgraded version of the ubiquitous and annoyingly French Cirque du Soleil that now basically is the sole money maker of Nevada, with the possible exception of the female pussies on the prostitutes. Unfortunately the Cirque, while popular, is very annoying. The comedy clowns are something from preindustrial Gaul and the humor level is garish and rude without being amusing. The costumes on the women are teasing and frustrating, and, well, it's fucking France France France France France France France up the fucking ass and down the fucking gullet and coming out your rectum, vagina if you have one, and pores.
   If you have to have that fucking entertainment comodity known as the Cirque then have them right in front of you, a few at a time, not 100 at a fucking time, have them naked rather than teasingly dressed and have them doing what everyone seems to think the French specialize in doing, which is fucking. And since the Cirque is festooned with talented costume makers, have the costuming be x rated and demonic. That's what EYE say. Walking along the many corridors and venues of the lush hotels and having to pass by two muscular troglodytes fucking a red hot naked elfin Amazon is - unlike the Cirque's usual fare - not going to annoy anyone.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Electronic Card Reader


   This is the card-reading device on the doors of the Twilek-themed venues and for all credit card transactions. Can you figure out where the card gets slid at? No, not at the suction cup nipples, yes, that's right, down farther, in the cunt lips, or labia majori, or the double hills of thrills.  Yes, there is nothing quite like a pussy to take your money, don't you agree? We just take it to the logical extreme, we make it so's there's no ambiguity about what is going on, you are losing your money to a pussy. But  then there's worse ways to lose it, which would be all the other ways. The slot is a two way slot, you can slide the card back and forth or up and down. She responds equally fully to both, assuming your card is legitimate. If it isnt, syphilis bacteria drenches your card with an invisible microscopic film and the little Twilek machine will say to you "Lick the card and try again, tiger." This gets the bacteria into your system, hopefully, and even more hopefully teaches you a lesson: fuck in the New Las Vegas but don't fuck with it.

Self-Performed Penis Massage



   One of the features of the many Twilek Lounges in the Several Disney-Lucas venues is the self-performed penis massage which is what one tends to perform when watching one of the many Twilek waitresses rubbing her naked twat while you're either waiting for your drink or trying to decide what to order. Waitress chairs are situated all over the lounge and customers are advised not to sit there - in various polite ways - and why would anyone want to, that will only result in a drink-girl who could be rubbing her twat languidly in front of you wandering around instead, her pussy practically invisible and being pissed off because her twat needs rubbing! Why would you want that. Wouldn't you rather be jacking off in a public environment? With other women and men staring at your cock and cum? Yes, I thought you would say yes.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Twat Du Soleil



   In the New Las Vegas the Cirque do Soleil will actually be enjoyable and not annoying. There won't be any twat teasing in the costumes of the Twat du Soleil, it will be cameltoe heaven for your bulging eyeballs and your even more bulging dick. Vaginal crackage will be loud and clear. You'll know more about the performer's cunt than she does herself cause you will have seen more of it than she has. And this business of "no photos" will be bullshit from a lost and forgotten past. There won't be any reason to claim "it's for the safety of the performers" because the most complex thing any of the performers will be doing is 69ing each other and/or doing the sort of elbow stand you see above. Any acrobat who gets distracted by a flash doing a fucking elbow stand needs to go down to Circus Circus in the old Las Vegas while it's still there.

Coffee, Tea, Or My Two Succulent Breasts?



   One of the more rattling - in a good way - aspects of the New Las Vegas is the experience of having your lifelong frustrations regarding your cock eradicated over and over a hundred times a day even without you doing anything to make it happen. Where in the past inside the casinos, hot - and often not hot - cocktail gals would approach you with a tray of free drinks, in the New Las Vegas female personnel - all of them hot - will approach you with their tits. "Care to suck on these or cop a feel, sir?" To put things another way, the notion of "tease" or "frustration" will not exist within city limits. Just get used to it.