Pole Dancing

   Yup, you're one step ahead of me. That pole ain't brass, and any acrobatics she is going to be doing on it wont be very complicated. They will be pretty rudimentary. Mosly repetitive. Probably involving sliding and not much else. And it's very likely she will do all that she can to keep the pole on the outside of her anatomy. The animatronic she is dancing on is not particularly animate. Only the cock moves: straight up or hanging down limp. On amateur night contestants' movements against it are the deciding factor on whether or not the cock is hard or limp. Actually the employee who is paid to operate the cock decides. He decided this by his estimation of the ardor the dancer applies to the cock. The applause and cheering of the audience does a lot to help him make a decision. At some point he can make the cock squirt. Or ooze. Oozing is good but the squirts are pretty impressive and at the end of amateur night a winner is decided and she gets a prize commensurate with her efforts. It's always a good one. The fake semen is actually edible, so if she decides to make a complete erotic spectacle of herself, even if she doesn't go home the winner at least she won't go home hungry.

The WTF Hotel

   Sometimes you just don't know where to begin. Having to describe the What The Fuck Hotel is always one of those times. It's enough to say you'll be paying attention, whatever it is you see when you get there. You just won't always know what the fuck it is you're paying attention to. You might not know what but you will know why: because there will pretty likely be tits and ass involved; some of it human. What exactly is going on here, for example, is partially understandable. And that would be what is happening in the foreground. As for what the deal is regarding what's going on in the chair in the backround…..I mean, what the fuck? It appears to be insectoid, but it also seems to be obscene. I can only assume it's cock comes out of its mouth. So technically it's not gay. If it was going in…..well, frankly, I don't even know how to end that sentence. Whatever the fuck is going on it's all being very excellently presented. So you can't fault the Hotel for being slipshod and indifferent. That's got to be worth something. Just not something with an explanation.

The Buffets

   Frankly you're not going to be wanting a lot of food. The New Las Vegas is not about food unless its semen, or pussy juice, or, in the Lactating Lounges, human-baby milk. You have the option in the buffet rooms, if you insist on calling them that, of being the food provider or being the food recipient. There are only two customers here today, strangers to each other as are most guests at a buffet, and one has chosen to be on the selection table - which turns, in case you want a different selection to come into view, and one has chosen to be the selector. Once he has made his selection he stands upon the running board, as it is called, and they both circle slowly until the meal is finished. He may also choose to feed while being fed off of. All he has to do to do that is bend forward. Payments are voluntary and usually there is never a problem offering it. Making change is considered bad form. So don't ask. Don't be a dick. Just have one.

Animatronics, New Las Vegas Style

   I believe it was Disneyland that introduced the world to the animatronics experience. Abe Lincoln, as I recall, the man who declared war on his own country and has as a result been hailed as America's greatest President, was animatronick'ed into action at a venue wherein he held forth in a droning listless announcement to the effect that…well, I don't remember what he said but I think the idea was to convey the message that if you are unenergetic enough and pretend to be weighed down with the weight of your own stupidity to the point where you are even too exhausted to speak quickly and lively or from some other emotional zone than deep clinical depression you will be considered to contain liberal amounts of distilled greatness. There was also another animatronic venue as I recall call Bear Country Hoedown, or something, featuring a fake bear singing in a deep slow drone "There was blood on the saddle. There was blood all around. And a big black puddle of blood on the ground." The word "blood" was recited with a definite special emphasis every time. This was back when Disney was cool and not cute.
   The animatronics at the New Las Vegas will be a little different. There will be bearlike creatures but they will be much more humanoid, and they will be getting their dicks sucked. They probably won't be singing. And the only puddles anywhere will be animatronic semen. Probably on the ground. And all around. And in the saddle of the blowing female's ass saddle. If the brute depicted above ever takes his thumb out of it.

The Consierge At The Amazon Hotel

   The Amazon Hotel and Casino can be a bit intimidating to the average male visitor, but it's designed to separate the men from the worthless unworthy earthworms. Despite her environs her job is to help you find the things you are looking for in the New Las Vegas. All she asks, and I am being a bit ridiculous using the word asks, but all she asks is that you have a clear idea of what it is you want before you ask her where you can find it. Otherwise she might be telling you where you can find your dick, since you won't have it any more. This is not to say she's a bitch. She's just busy. A lot of people want to talk to her, or at least think they do when they first get a gander at her. So she is willing to give them all a moment's benefit of the doubt. But she has to actually get to them all in order to do that. Which she can't do if you're standing there drooling gibberish, not knowing whether or not you want dinner or a hot black cock up your ass. Keep in mind that she's not surrounded by skulls because death creeps her out. And she's not buckass naked because she's easily embarrassed. So you might want to think carefully about trying to shock her with your questions about whether or not she would like to experience your undoubtedly phenomenal lovemaking capabilities. She's there to do a job. Not give you one. Vermin male.

Gratuitous Vaginal Penetration Murals

 
   Elves, God bless 'em, are pretty much the go-to guys when you need to abuse and take advantage of someone. They have virtually no defenses, and if Tinker Bell is any example, they're all cuter than pixies. Well, what the fuck, of course they are, they are pixies. Where the fuck is my head. For all the abuse you never see one of them in anything even close to resembling a bad mood. They are either astoundingly resilient emotionally or else they are so fucking hearty that what we see as abuse they see merely as a weekend of skiing in Vale, all expenses paid. So what is there to be troubled about by seeing a smooth naked elf being acrobatically penetrated by what can only be something five times her size and weight. The cock is going in and I don't see any blood, and besides, it's just a mural. True, it's not the usual hallway  or corridor or dining room mural of Aztecs and peons and union laborers on the railroad working together dutifully for a better tomorrow and raising shovels and garden hoes high in salute to a New Deal where everyone will be equally busy with 15th century back breaking farm labor in a global spirit of agrarian reform. No, it will be elves getting huge cocks thrust up their pussies, their naked bodies bent strainingly in sexual ecstasy. Same difference though. 'Cause they're just murals and they're by definition not anything important.

Restaurant Decor

   Before you come to any conclusions about what you see, you can relax in the assurance that this is nothing more than the other side of a booth and table inside one of the many French restaurants in the New Las Vegas. The French of course are the most disgusting and simultaneously annoying people on the face of the planet. The food they serve to each other is not fit to serve to pigs living in an underground French sewer. However the site of one of the menu items copulating with a woman whose naked ass and one naked tit covered in centipede sperm are fully visible has the effect of tempting one to investigate a little further this nightmare experience called "French Dining" and of course experiencing what the New Las Vegas is all about, even if the new thing being experienced is French cooking. Xenomorph ahpehteet!